AITA for telling my friend that she is only welcome at my house if she doesn’t bring her husband

A Reddit user with a serious form of epilepsy, dependent on her service dog Onyx, recently encountered a problem with her friend and the friend’s spouse. The husband, holding prejudiced views and skeptical of non-visible disabilities, demanded to take Onyx for an overnight visit, disregarding the dog’s vital function in safeguarding the user’s well-being.

Following a disagreement concerning Onyx’s requirements, the original poster on Reddit determined that her companion could come over, but her spouse could not. The friend was angry because she didn’t grasp how serious the situation was, and now the Redditor is wondering if she overreacted. The complete account is provided below.

‘ AITA for telling my friend that she is only welcome at my house if she doesn’t bring her husband’

I understand the title may seem alarming, but please listen to what I have to say. I suffer from a serious form of epilepsy and have a service dog named Onyx. While Onyx does have moments to snuggle, unwind, and simply enjoy being a dog, when he is on duty, he is COMPLETELY FOCUSED on safeguarding my life. He has been instrumental in saving me on several occasions.

UnoriginalPenguin My friend has been visiting frequently lately. I care for her deeply, but I’m having trouble with her husband. He acts as though possessing male genitalia elevates him above women. Additionally, he is skeptical of unseen disabilities, and since he’s never witnessed one, he doubts Onyx’s seizures.

Last week they visited, and her husband was playfully interacting with Onyx, which was acceptable since he wasn’t working. However, later on, the husband inquired about the possibility of occasionally dogsitting, suggesting Onyx could stay overnight at their home. I declined and reiterated that Onyx is a service dog and I require him to, you know… keep me alive.

Her spouse became confrontational, asserting that Onyx wasn’t an automaton and that I had no justification for denying him enjoyment. Subsequently, he employed a condescending tone, declaring his superior knowledge and dismissing my concerns, stating that I was incorrect, he was correct, and I could manage my seizures for a single evening without Onyx. Throughout this exchange, my friend remained silent on the sofa.

I told him to go, and after some complaining about my lack of politeness and how Onyx and he would’ve enjoyed each other’s company, they both left. Now, my friend phoned today, wondering if they could visit. I said I’d be happy to have her, but her husband was no longer allowed.

She became angry, explaining that his behavior was typical and could be difficult to discern at times, especially since he hadn’t witnessed me experiencing a severe seizure before. I grew irritated and responded sarcastically, questioning whether I should intentionally trigger a seizure to ease her husband’s discomfort. She continued to insist that he intended no ill will and simply desired Onyx to enjoy himself. I reiterated that she was welcome, but he was not.

I feel terrible and think I might be stirring up trouble, but that guy radiates negativity, and I’m afraid his skepticism about my need for a service animal might push him to do something completely irrational.

Having spent two weeks working alongside Onyx at a training facility before taking him home, he was thoroughly prepared to assist me. He understood my physical cues and triggers, allowing us to collaborate seamlessly and achieve complete synchronization. His exceptional training likely plays a role in this success.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

mckinnos −  NTA. You are totally in the right here. Your comment about “purposefully causing a seizure so her husband was comfortable” was spot on. Why is it so hard for him to believe you about your condition and your needed treatment? Your friend’s an AH for defending her husband and her husband is obviously a super-AH

SeethingHeathen −  NTA. You get to choose who you invite into your home. Since his argument is that you’d be fine one night without Onyx, tell your friend that she’ll be fine for a couple of hours without her husband. (Thank you guys for the awards! Much appreciated.)

SeePerspectives −  NTA. Her: “he’s just like that”. Response: “and he’s perfectly welcome to be like that absolutely anywhere except in my home.”

chaoticsorrow −  NTA. Friend’s husband is a piece of work. On the off chance said husband is reading this – a service dog is a vital companion to people. It is not a f**king DVD you borrow when the mood takes you.

Starfleet_Auxiliary −  NTA. This is the type of person that would sabotage your dog just to “prove” his point that you don’t have a disability. Also you don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.

kindcrow −  NTA!!! Your friend’s husband is TA and your friend is as well, quite frankly. How could she have remained silent while he berated you because HE wanted what HE wanted?! Tell him to get his own dog and leave yours alone!

KikkioPotPie −  NTA. Cut her out too. Her enabling his crap attitude isn’t doing her any favors. Seems like she believes him over you in telling you “He meant no harm and wanted Onyx to have fun.” She doesn’t seem to grasp that he is a working dog.. NTA

Fiercegreenapple −  First of all, NTA. Second, I find it very odd that he would try to arrange a sleepover with someone’s dog. It’s not like you mentioned needing to go somewhere and couldn’t take Onyx or that he would house the dog in an emergency. He just straight up wants to take the dog to his own house for some reason. Am I insane for thinking that’s weird??

heatherlincoln −  NTA. Keep an eye on your dog, the husband sounds like the type to kidnap your dog in order to prove a point, be very careful.

Ohmannothankyou −  NTA. It’s weird as hell for him to insist on borrowing your dog even if it was only a pet.

Was the Redditor right to request that her friend’s husband keep his distance, considering his lack of respect for her service dog and unseen disability? Or should she have approached the situation in another way to minimize conflict? Share your opinion in the comments.