AITA for watching and not doing anything while my wife was being kicked out of my company?

His professional life was thrown into turmoil when his wife created a disturbance at his office, potentially jeopardizing his employment. Security removed her, and he opted not to get involved, which later sparked a significant dispute between them at home. He is now questioning whether his response was inadequate or reasonable. This is the complete account of what happened.

‘ AITA for watching and not doing anything while my wife was being kicked out of my company?’

Just listen to me, please read the entire story. My wife, F (26), and myself, M (33), have been married for the past two years. I recognize that she has a temper and can be a little over the top, particularly when she’s angry with me. I acknowledge any errors I make, such as forgetting to clean the bathroom after showering or replenishing the gas in her car after driving it. I even endure her venting her rage and irritation on me, but only when we are at home, not when we are in public. She has a habit of initiating arguments with me in public rather than waiting until we return home.

Lately, she’s been showing up at my job to yell at me about something I didn’t do the previous night, like failing to pick up the items I promised or neglecting to complete tasks I agreed to. It’s mortifying and degrading, and it’s impacting my work so much that I’ve received multiple warnings from my bosses, who I think have been quite tolerant and empathetic, particularly when my wife creates a scene at the office.

Last week, I found myself two hours into a meeting when my wife suddenly burst in, angrily demanding to know why my phone was off. (I had silenced it due to low-battery warnings, despite her explicit instructions not to.) The interruption occurred in front of my boss, colleagues, and prospective customers, leaving me speechless. My boss took charge, summoning security to escort her away.

She began to quarrel with him, insisting that she was there for me, and pressed me to stand up and demand they leave me alone. I remained still, observing as security led her away. It was a terrible situation, made worse by my anxiety that I would lose my job. Despite her repeated shouts for me to intervene, she was ultimately removed.

I learned she was banned from the premises, and I was given a final warning. After apologizing, I went home, where she was waiting. She berated me for standing by while she was being mistreated and removed. I lost it and told her she had gone too far, creating a spectacle that jeopardized my job over a few unanswered phone calls.

She burst into tears, insisting that I should have stood up for her even after she was embarrassed in front of my colleagues. I responded by telling her that she didn’t need to be concerned about it because she wasn’t welcome there anymore. This made her even angrier, and she left to stay with her mother.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

IAmHerdingCatz −  Your wife isn’t a “hot head,” she’s abusive. She’s going to violate that ban and get you fired. You need to get out–these things only escalate. Edit: NTA x1000. Sorry I had to be reminded to vote!!

Obvious-Result6853 −  NTA. This is a form of abuse and I would take this with a strong understanding that things are getting worse. You never show up to a spouses place of work like that.

Aunty-Sociale −  NTA your wife is abusive. You need to get away from her and get counseling.

GoonyGooGoo42 −  NTA. You are an abused husband. If you do not have kids, you should cut her loose. In fact, you could change the house locks right now. This would help your ability to keep the house during the divorce. Edit: Your divorce papers should be served with a restraining order. Edit 2: Thank you for the feedback on the lock changing. I am happy to admit when I am mistaken.

KrtekJim −  NTA, and this is 100% divorce-worthy.

BeeYehWoo −  See a lawyer. You are married to an abusive m**ipulative monster. She has no concept of acceptable behavior. What kind of face does she have to show herself in public behaving like this? You are 110% right. NTA.

wildferalfun −  NTA. Please contact your HR department and ask for help because you are in an abusive relationship and it is a common tactic among abusers to cause job loss as a method of destabilizing their partner. She isn’t just a hot head, she is controlling and aggressively monitoring your behavior (flying off the handle when you are not reachable 24/7.) This kind of behavior only escalates.

They’ve all witnessed her violent outbursts and manipulation, both your colleagues and those higher up. I understand they’re annoyed by her causing trouble, but they would take it far more seriously if a man were to storm into his wife’s workplace to yell at her. This should serve as a warning to you. There’s absolutely no way someone this unstable won’t turn to violence. Please be careful and figure out how to defend yourself. I’m relieved she’s gone. Handle this situation and get away from there.

attack-ninja −  My friend, you really need to learn the signs of abuse.. NTA.

love_cars_more −  NTA. Why are you still with her? Even 5 year olds are better behaved than her (no shade to kids). Btw, your supervisors are extremely patient. I don’t know which universe your wife is living in. P.S. It’s common decency to not use your phone at work. We leave our phones in our drawers for meetings. How can she not know this? She is 26!

Julia070000 −  NTA divorce her now! Ffs