AITA for telling my husband to lose the entitled attitude and do s**t for himself?

A woman on Reddit is looking for advice after addressing what she sees as her husband’s inflated ego since he received a promotion. She wonders if she was wrong to lose her temper after feeling like her contributions to their relationship have been ignored for weeks.

‘ AITA for telling my husband to lose the entitled attitude and do s**t for himself?’

Just recently, my 31-year-old husband received a promotion to warehouse assistant manager. We both put in around 50 hours a week at our jobs. I’m a shift manager at a facility for behavioral disorders. Both of our jobs are physically demanding and require a lot of hands-on work. Ever since he got promoted, he’s become a completely different person, acting incredibly superior and, frankly, being extremely rude. He’s constantly showing off and talking about how great he is. This behavior has been going on for the last three weeks.

On his days away from work, he insists on absolute quiet in the house. If our four-year-old attempts to engage him in play, he instructs her to remain in her room, stating he requires tranquility after “exerting himself so much.” When I prepare lunch for our daughter, he promptly demands, “What about mine?” He frequently requests that I fetch items for him at nearly all hours, even during the night.

He anticipates a massage each evening, yet if I request one, he dismisses me with “I put in a full day at work” (even if I did too). He wants meals prepared each night that cater to his preferences, regardless of whether our daughter or I enjoy them. Furthermore, he is now behaving as though he has complete control over the finances, simply because he is the “bigger earner.”

Last night was my breaking point. I had been overlooking a lot of things lately, making excuses because of his recent promotion and initial enthusiasm. But last night, around 11pm while I was in bed on my phone, he walked in, laid down, and told me to go make him ice cream with chocolate drizzle and cashews. Then he just started looking at his phone. I didn’t respond because I was about to lose it. Then he shook my leg and repeated, “Did you hear what I said?”

Response:

I answered, “Yes, I heard you, but no. Go prepare it. You were just outside. Your outrageous sense of entitlement is absurd. Do things yourself.” He took offense immediately and predictably retorted, “But I toiled all day!” I shot back, “So did I! Actually, I worked 12 hours compared to your 8. As I mentioned, take care of things yourself.”

He’s currently claiming he isn’t behaving presumptuously, and that I was simply projecting my frustrations onto him. He also asserts that my remarks have made him feel undervalued. Am I the unreasonable one? Did I overreact?

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

lynne620 −  NTA someone needs to knock your husband off his high horse. You two need to have a serious talk that at home you’re equals and he’s not the boss. Hell, if he’s treating employees like this, things won’t go well at work either. Husband and I work an equal amount of hours so we split the chores and take turns cooking. Sounds like he needs to pitch in too.

ProudBoomer −  NTA, and if that’s how your husband is acting at work his stint as an assistant manager will be a short lived one. For the sake of his career, he needs to learn the difference between being a boss and being a leader.

lisainpurgatory −  NTA. Girl, nip this in the bud now before it goes any further. I understand he got a promotion, but he needs to reel it in. Tell him to grow up, stop acting like a child, you work just like him and make him stop throwing money in your face. Also, just because his job is strenuous doesn’t give him the right to act like a d**k. Good luck!

TheseF—ingGhosts −  NTA. Wow…NTA. Nip it in the bud unless you want your child learning that this is okay for her future. Don’t let yourself be silenced – you are 100% in the right. Even if you hadn’t worked all day – you’re still not his maid, you’re not his servant.

Having your daughter stuck in her room for his quiet time? If he needs to be alone, he should be the one going to his room, not forcing a four-year-old into confinement. I would never allow my child to be treated as less important, especially not in her own house. She and you have the same right to exist as he does. Make noise, rest when you need to, and stand your ground, just like he does. You both deserve to be treated with equal respect.

EonBlueDelusion −  NTA. Though I will say you should’ve said something much sooner, before you were ready to snap on him. But yeah, get that under control now or it’ll ruin the two of you.

Dropthebanhammer101 −  NTA. Feed this man chicken nuggets. That’s all he gets is chicken f****** nuggets until he starts acting the way he needs to start acting.

EGSam −  NTA. He was acting like an ass and you gave him a reality check.

90sLady −  NTA. His behaviour needs to change. But you two need to learn how to communicate with each other. He saw this as a one time thing because you didn’t tell him about all the other times his action towards you and your child bothered you. Try to stay calm and have an actual conversation about how he hurt you and how tired you are after your workday and how there are things he should be doing around the house because you two are equal partners.

hello_friendss −  NTA you brought your husband back to earth. He was put on notice and you need to continue to put him on notice for all those small requests or else it will continue to be a reoccurring theme of selfishness and entitlement.

[Reddit User] −  Someone seriously feels entitled because they are an assistant manager? You don’t get to be entitled as a junior executive, let alone ASSISTANT manager. I remember working with an assistant manager when I was in high school. She was cool. Know why? She was in my SAME GRADE!