WIBTA if I reported my daughter’s teacher for not pronouncing her name correctly?

A Redditor seeks advice on whether they would be wrong to report their daughter’s teacher for not pronouncing her name correctly. The Redditor’s daughter, Kanae, who has a Japanese name, asked her English teacher to pronounce her name as “Kaa-Naa-EH,” but the teacher, an American expat, insisted on calling her “Kah-Nye.”

Despite Kanae’s polite corrections, the teacher continued to mispronounce it. The Redditor, feeling frustrated and concerned for their daughter’s well-being, is considering reporting the teacher to the school. However, they’re wondering if this would be an overreaction, especially since their daughter is shy and didn’t want to make a fuss. Read the original story below for more context on this ongoing situation.

‘ WIBTA if I reported my daughter’s teacher for not pronouncing her name correctly?’

My child’s English instructor will not say her name the right way. She has a Japanese name, and we reside in Japan. Her name is Kanae, and it is said Kaa-Naa-EH. Kanae recently informed me that her English teacher (an American expatriate) refers to her as “Kah-Nye.” She stated that she told the teacher, “My name is Kanae. It has three claps (syllables).” The English teacher, however, told Kanae that she was mistaken and that, grammatically speaking, she, the teacher, was accurate.

During my daughter’s school sports event, I approached her teacher. I clarified that my daughter prefers to be addressed as “Kaa-naa-eh.” However, the teacher chuckled and responded that she was articulating it in the “correct” manner, while also stating she would do her best to remember the preferred pronunciation.

My child informed me that the instructor continues to mispronounce her name. My child is incredibly reserved, and it was difficult for her to correct the teacher initially. I’m contemplating visiting the school tomorrow. However, am I overreacting?

(For some clarity; I am not Japanese, my wife is so our kids are mixed-race. Our kids are fluent in English and Japanese. ). 🧚🏿‍♂️🧚🏿‍♂️. 👉🏽Not like Kanye West But Kah. Plus Nye like Bill Nye 👈🏼
:::::oh wow! I wrote this late at night and went to sleep. I didn’t expect it to get this much attention! Thank you for all of the responses. I can’t reply to them all.

This morning our visit was canceled due to my son’s earache, but we’re planning to go after school. We inquired with our daughter if she wanted us to inform the teacher, but she expressed indifference. Our intention isn’t to get the teacher dismissed; we simply desire that our daughter be treated with respect within her classroom.

Update: I’m unsure of the most suitable place to share this, but my wife and I visited the school today at approximately 3:45 pm. The English teacher we’re concerned about had already left for the day. We recounted everything I’ve shared with you all to the principal, who was very apologetic. He suggested the issue might stem from a communication difficulty. However, I reminded him that both my daughter and I had clearly instructed the teacher in English on how to say Kanae’s name.

The principal then contacted her dispatch firm, which was Interac. The same issue occurred, with the company offering apologies while attempting to attribute the problem to linguistic differences. Further apologies were given when we informed them that we had spoken English. We were assured that Interac would address the matter with the teacher and take responsibility for resolving it.

The headmaster has requested our presence at the school on Monday. I’m looking forward to having an in-person conversation with the instructor then. ❤️💚Final (possibly) update. This morning, I had a meeting with the board of education, the principal, the transportation provider, and the teacher involved! I was genuinely surprised by the turnout.

Everyone, even the American instructor, bowed deeply in a very typical Japanese act of contrition. She recited something that I believe was composed for her, as it seemed unnatural and contained a few errors. While I can’t recall the precise wording, it expressed, “I offer my deepest apologies to the (our family name) family, and especially to Kanae (pronounced correctly). I now understand the significance of names in Japanese culture.”

My deepest sympathies. The teacher pledged to behave more respectfully toward Kanae. She also apologized for disrespecting me on sports day. Frankly, the only genuine thing she said was when Kanae was brought in, and the teacher knelt and said, “Kanae.”

“I’m truly apologetic.” Kanae’s genuine nature shone through when she crafted a card for the teacher, leading me to forgive her. My daughter shares this sentiment. While I’m uncertain about the future implications for her career, as her employer appeared quite displeased, my daughter’s well-being is my priority. I extend my sincere gratitude to everyone for their support.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

FlyingGingerMonkee −  NTA; you’d be helping your child face an adult who clearly entitled enough to think she can do no wrong. I had a math teacher who did this exact thing and I went from doing okay in math the previous year to flunking it because I didn’t respect the teacher and refused to listen to what he was saying when he called me the wrong name. 15 years later and I’m still angry about it.

almafinklebottom −  What I’d do: I’d scheduled an official one-on-one with you, your spouse and the teacher specifically to address this issue. If she still does after that then escalate to her boss. Let her know your plan but try to approach it in an open and friendly way. NTA and WNBTA

stillpretending13 −  NTA. That’s ridiculous. Mispronouncing once is one thing, continuing to do so and refusing to be told otherwise makes her a d**k.

fuckoffimreading −  NTA that teacher sounds kinda r**ist

PowerfulYet −  NTA. I’m a teacher. Even if she was right about how it’s supposed to be pronounced (and she’s not), if both the student and the parent have told her that it’s not they way to pronounce the name, she should have backed off. She should have backed off the first time your daughter told her the right way to pronounce it. Names are an important part of our identities and, as teachers, we should be respecting that AND encouraging our students to stand up for themselves when others don’t.

[Reddit User] −  Bruh ask her to watch demon slayer anime in dub lol. That’ll do the job 🙂

[Reddit User] −  My son’s teacher has called a classmate Gazelle since school started. Her name is Giselle. Not a gazelle.

Throwaway41790a −  NTA. This teacher is kind of rude.

Virmyth −  I was going to tell you that you might want to talk to her before reporting, but it’s clear this isn’t a misunderstanding. I think it’s not a big deal, or it wouldn’t be if this was between adults, but there’s a child involved and she deserves respect.. NTA.

Is the Redditor being overly sensitive, or is it crucial for the instructor to honor their daughter’s name and its correct pronunciation? What would your approach be if you found yourself in a situation where your child’s name was consistently mispronounced, even after attempts to rectify the issue? I’m interested in hearing your opinions on this.