AITA for changing my name? my parents named me Qur’stylle (Chrystal)?

A Reddit user shared how their unique name, Qur’stylle (pronounced Chrystal), caused them years of bullying, mispronunciations, and assumptions about their background. Once they turned 18, they legally changed their name to Chrystal to avoid the ongoing frustration.

However, their mom, who originally chose the name, reacted with tears, anger, and threats to cut them off for “betraying” the family. The user stood their ground, pointing out how their mom repeatedly dismissed their concerns and forced teachers and friends to use the original spelling. Did the user go too far by telling their mom off, or are they justified for reclaiming their identity? Read on for the details.

‘ AITA for changing my name? my parents named me Qur’stylle (Chrystal)?’

The user’s awful, garbage parents gave me the name Qur’stylle, and my entire existence has been plagued with questions like, “Are you Muslim?”, “What language does your name come from?”, “What country are you from?”, and people mangling the pronunciation, which is understandable.

I’ve consistently advised individuals to spell it “Chrystal,” a suggestion that my parents, particularly my mother, vehemently opposed, resulting in annual emails to my teachers ensuring the accurate pronunciation of my name.

I was once punished by my mother for suggesting people save my name as Chrystal in their contacts. Now that I’m of age, I legally changed my name to Chrystal so I can finally be done with this crap for good.

Dealing with this ridiculous spelling and constantly having to correct people became incredibly irritating. Before meeting me, everyone assumed I was some pampered snob, which is far from the truth. Your name influences people’s perceptions of you, often on a subconscious level, and these ridiculous spellings are detrimental.

My mother completely lost her composure, bursting into tears and warning that she would disown me for my actions. She accused me of disloyalty to her and our relatives as a result of this. While I am confident that my position is justified, I am seeking external validation on my mental state here.

I told my mom to go to hell and blamed her for all the issues in my life, saying she never supported me or took my concerns seriously. I cursed her name. My mom is a terrible person, and my dad is a weak coward.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

TolkienandTrees −  NTA. It’s your name and your right to change it if you wish. Honestly, if I may say so, it may be best to take a step back from your family. It sounds like they’re causing you a lot of unnecessary anger, and you seem very hostile towards them. Cut as much negativity and toxicity out of your life as you can.

JeremyMcCracken −  NTA I notice this: would email my teachers every year to make sure they pronounce my name correctly Your mom thinks you’re her possession to show off. She picked that name for the same reason people get their sportscars in bight red: “Look at this awesome thing I own!!” Not only are you in the right for wanting a normal name, it’s good of you to get out from under your mom’s influence.

likaachikaa −  she was threatening to cut you off for changing your first name as a legal adult? wow. but the “go f**k yourself” was a little harsh, though also justified.. NTA

Darkbomber04 −  “Your name affects how people see you, much of it is subconscious”. You’re absolutely right about that. I, personally, hate when parents give their kids names that are hard to pronounce or names that the kid’s going to get made fun of for. Naming a child shouldn’t be about the parents, it should be about how it will affect the kid as they grow up.

I’ve always disliked my given name and exclusively use my nickname, which is simply a shortened version of it. My father initially wanted to name me Mario, and I’m grateful that my mother intervened, leading him to agree to a name that blends Italian and English elements. However, the chosen name wasn’t ideal either, as I was ridiculed for it during elementary and high school when teachers disclosed my full name.

animalcrackwhores −  Why did you spell it Chrystal and not Crystal?

CardiacSchmardiac −  NTA. If it was a culturally or religiously important name with roots in the family then *maybe* that would be on the spectrum of betrayal but this is just basic n**cissism. Just read the definition below of n**cissism and see how much of this you think fits your mom’s feelings about YOUR name.

“…a strong desire to be admired, a lack of concern for the emotions of others, difficulty accepting feedback, and a belief that you deserve special treatment.” And you are an adult. Uncommon names may create obstacles when seeking jobs, pursuing further studies, or obtaining financial assistance.

Beret_of_Poodle −  NTA. “Betrayed” her and your family? That’s a stretch. And THAT’S an understatement. She gets to pick your name when you’re a kid. You’re an adult now, and you are allowed to dislike what she picked and change it. She’s allowed to be hurt by that. She is not allowed to threaten you for making adult decisions.

I am genuinely baffled by the sheer volume of posts I encounter where families sever ties over the most absurdly trivial matters. Is the world really teeming with that many unhinged individuals? How do these people justify to their extended family, friends, and acquaintances the sudden absence of their child from their lives? Do they actually say, “She changed her name, therefore she no longer exists to me”? Does nobody point out to them just how utterly insane that sounds?

AnUnpopularReality −  Lol you had to throw that extra “h” in there, huh?

SourNotesRockHardAbs −  INFO: was the inclusion of the “H” on purpose? My mind keeps reading it as Chrysler instead of Crystal. For the record, I still think that spelling is more clear than the original spelling.

cisero −  Good candidate for a crosspost to. r/raisedbynarcissists. I was given an unusual middle name (mother’s vanity) and I changed it when I turned 18. Couldn’t even stand it in the middle and that’s where weird names belong!. NTA

Do you believe that mothers and fathers ought to weigh the enduring effects of unusual or strange names on their offspring? Was the mother justified in her sentiments of pain, or should she have placed her child’s welfare first? Express your opinions on the connection between names and personal identity, along with how mothers and fathers should go about choosing names for their children!