AITA For Being Upset Because My Wealthy Best Friend Wouldn’t Let Me Borrow Five Dollars?

A person on Reddit recounts how their affluent closest friend, who had been supportive in the past, turned down their request for a mere $5 loan. The user is wounded, particularly because they had assisted the friend previously, such as letting them use their vehicle without asking for anything in return. Continue reading to find out how the situation worsened and to assess whether the user’s response was reasonable.

‘ AITA For Being Upset Because My Wealthy Best Friend Wouldn’t Let Me Borrow Five Dollars?’

My close friend and I have maintained a friendship spanning almost seven years. In the early stages of our relationship, she faced monetary challenges and relied heavily on each paycheck to make ends meet. There was a period when her vehicle malfunctioned, leaving her without a means to get to her job, so I would allow her to use my vehicle and I never requested any compensation for fuel or any other expenses.

Back then, I was doing well financially and gladly assisted her. Over the years, my financial stability decreased, and I found myself, much like her, struggling to make ends meet. Around that time, she began seeing someone she had connected with online, who disclosed that he was a millionaire after they had been dating for a few months.

They married shortly after and suffice to say she has not had to struggle since. There have been a few times I have asked to borrow money, which I have always paid back. It’s usually not much, less than $25 or so each time, and she would always oblige with no problems until recently. The last couple times I asked to borrow money, she said she didn’t have it which I found odd.

But then I asked to borrow $5 and she said the same thing and I thought it was odd that she told me she didn’t have $5 to spare. I know that ever since she got married, her brothers and a couple other friends have tried taking advantage of her new-found wealth by asking to borrow money they never paid back and having her bail them out of situations they put themselves in that have cost her a lot of money.

I began to wonder whether there was a time I failed to reimburse her for a debt, so I contacted her to clarify. Once she confirmed that wasn’t the issue (meaning, I had consistently repaid her), I conveyed my feelings of disappointment, explaining that it seemed as though I couldn’t rely on her for assistance in a difficult situation (I mentioned being incarcerated as an example) since she wasn’t willing to lend me even $5.

She responded, stating that similar to her siblings, I should improve my financial planning skills, and that she cannot be constantly rescuing everyone. She mentioned that during her own difficult times, she had to hold several jobs and take necessary actions.

I responded, stating that I didn’t appreciate being grouped with her brothers, as I’ve never exploited her trust, nor would I have made such a remark, especially considering I lent her my car and always helped her financially when she needed it.

I expressed my love for her but also stated that I was concluding our discussion, and she responded by saying that this is the reason why financial matters and friendships should remain separate. Subsequently, she contacted me, saying, “I didn’t warrant that discussion last night, I hope you’re aware of that.” I have not responded and do not intend to.

I’m really stung that she believes I acted wrongly, though I don’t believe I’m the bad guy. I realize I have no claim to anyone’s funds, whether it’s a loan or not, but when she faced a similar situation, I went above and beyond to support her. I could see her point if I had requested a substantial loan, but I only needed $5.

See what others had to share with OP:

Scitizenkane −  NTA. Did I read the same post as everyone else, or did your friend make a bunch of accounts ragging you over $5. So, she had to struggle and work 3 job, but was STILL borrowing money from you, but the 5 bucks was the last straw and spawned a finance course.

I would just let her live her life. She has become wealthy and no longer exists in your social circles. People require your presence when they lack resources, but when you are in need, you are immediately labeled as demanding and scrutinized. The other comments are a great illustration of this dynamic.

No_Inspection_2977 −  NTA. im honestly f**king shocked at the comments. It’s not like you’re asking her for a huge amount of money. And it’s not like you didn’t pay her back before. And if she’s that f**king loaded this is nothing to her. I would 100% understand her boundary if you would take advantage of her in some way before.

You chose not to, and I sincerely hope I never amass enough wealth to be so ungenerous to my loved ones. If it’s genuinely creating friction in their relationship, she should communicate the reason to you. However, I find it hard to believe that a millionaire spouse would be concerned about such small sums.

Lady_Trig −  My friend and i are in similar situations money wise atm. We are both skint. I’ve just found out that the money I was expecting this weekend is no longer coming (I have just lost my job and was really relying on it), and she is skint until her next payday.

We were just blowing off steam, talking about what was going on with us, and then we moved on with our day. Shortly after, I got a notification that £50 had been deposited into my account, along with a message from her explaining that she was calling in a favour that was owed to her and had sent me some funds, hoping it would be of assistance.

I texted her right away to express my gratitude, but I also inquired about her own well-being, cautioning her against sacrificing her own interests for my sake, knowing she’s prone to such actions. She replied, reassuring me not to fret over her situation. The gesture of kindness, she said, was sufficient to sustain her and enable her to send me funds. Moreover, she emphasized that friendship holds greater value than money.

Ambitious-Cover-1130 −  NTA. I think people are not seeing the issue. Friendships are founded on equality. You supported her when she was down and you feel that she is not supporting you when you are down – ESPECIALLY when it is a question about small sums. In addition to that – she starts lecturing you for being lazy and stupid.

It is worth mentioning a couple of things. Lending to friends is never a good idea. I have a personal rule that if a friend requires a small amount of money, I will just give it to them outright, or offer to cover the expense. Unpaid debts can ruin friendships (though I understand this isn’t happening here).

It’s odd how folks typically dislike receiving presents, yet they often believe it’s acceptable to take loans without paying them back. (I understand this isn’t about you, just a general thought.) Given this, I believe you must come to terms with the fact that this friendship has ended.

I propose a courteous method for ending the friendship. Begin by sending your friend a warm message, acknowledging that you completely understand her perspective. Following that, gradually decline invitations for meetings or visits by citing work commitments or a need to reduce expenses. Deliver this message respectfully and allow the friendship to fade away gently.

MedicalMom23 −  I’m deeply curious as to the friend’s side of the story…I feel like there’s missing info here.

Ok_Equipment_8032 −  You’ve obviously asked often enough for your friend to become uncomfortable with the frequency of your requests, since you stated “the last couple of times” she said she didn’t have it. Your friend is setting a boundary and is not wrong in saying that money and friends should never mix.

You assisted her in her time of need, and it appears she has reciprocated until your recent need. When is her “owing” considered settled?

Adventurous-travel1 −  It’s not the $5 it’s the fact that you always ask for $ regardless of you pay her back or not. She set a boundary and is sticking with it so you should respect that.

patters1079 −  YTA. You said you’ve asked her many times to borrow money. And while that’s great you paid her back, friends aren’t a bank to lend you money. Maybe it happens once or twice, but after that come on. It’s not her job to lend money to friends. That is abusing her friendship.

And she’s married so her money is now their money. It is understandable that her husband not agree with lending money, especially given the fact her family abused her kindness. She is right, you never mix money with friendship.

Repeated requests, in particular, can be problematic. My daughter experienced a similar situation with a friend who constantly wanted to borrow funds, which made her feel exploited. It’s likely your friend is experiencing comparable emotions.

LittlestSlipper55 −  INFO: why do you need $5 so badly? I’ve been in your shoes, when you are living paycheck to paycheck even $1 can make the difference between a bill getting paid or not.

That said, I’m surprised you’re asking for something as trivial as $5. If you’re so financially insecure that you need to borrow the cost of a cup of coffee regularly, even if you do repay it, I wonder where your money is going.

issy_haatin −  Gonna go YTA. She happily obliged to provide free loans for a period of time. At some point she got tired of always providing. ( And probably confronted by her husband on how she should be more mindful of spending their money)

You aren’t taking “no” for an answer, and you think you’re entitled to her cash. Okay, it’s just $5, like you said before, but since you brought up “last couple times,” it sounds like this happens a lot.

You aren’t truly planning financially, instead, you depend on her to repeatedly correct your poor planning. Then, you become irritable, small-minded, and argumentative when she doesn’t quickly solve the problem again. This reinforces her belief that lending money to friends is a bad idea.

Was the friend justified in establishing limits due to her altered financial circumstances, or should she have been more lenient, given their past? How would you navigate monetary matters with a friend facing a comparable situation? Post your opinions below!