AITA for refusing to let my brother-in-law borrow my car after he insulted me in front of my family?

After John disparaged his finance profession at a family meal, a 28-year-old man won’t allow him to use his vehicle. Even though John’s automobile is out of service, the man believes the prior slight demonstrates a deficiency in respect.

His spouse and their family think he should forget about it to maintain familial harmony, but he thinks he is right to persist. Read the original story below…

‘ AITA for refusing to let my brother-in-law borrow my car after he insulted me in front of my family?’

I (28M) have a brother-in-law, John (32M), who recently relocated to the city where my wife Emily (30F) and I live. We’ve always been on good terms, but not particularly intimate. Several weeks ago, we hosted John and my wife’s parents for dinner, and the evening was pleasant until John made a subtle, cutting remark about my professional life.

Working in finance, while John works in construction management, he made a random comment suggesting his profession offers real societal value, unlike “just moving numbers around.”

I was taken by surprise and didn’t respond much then, I just dismissed it and tried to change the subject. Later that evening, Emily told me she was sorry for what John had said and confessed he had made comparable remarks before. She urged me to disregard it, but I was left with a negative feeling.

This weekend arrived quickly. John’s vehicle failed, so he wondered whether he could use my vehicle for a couple of days. I immediately declined and suggested that he seek assistance from another source or lease a vehicle. John became angry, alleging that I was being overly sensitive and harboring resentment over a “minor and insignificant” matter.

My spouse’s parents, along with Emily, now think I’m being overly strict and should have permitted him to borrow the vehicle. They argue that relatives ought to assist one another and that I’m creating unnecessary tension by dwelling on a trivial offense.

But to me, it’s not just the insult—it’s the lack of respect he’s shown, especially when he knew it hurt me. So, AITA for refusing to let him borrow my car after he insulted my career?

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Ironyismylife28 −  F**k that, NTA. He doesn’t get to be an ass to you then turn around and ask for a favour. Shame on your wife and in-laws for not supporting you.

Sea_Firefighter_4598 −  NTA. He can borrow someone else’s car or do something “unmanly” like apologize.

RJack151 −  NTA. Tell the inlaws that they can loan him one of their cars, but you are under no obligation to ever help him.

Gonebabythoughts −  Can they not afford to rent a car? I am curious why his default position was that he was owed the use of someone else’s, and specifically yours. Maybe he can take Emily’s car and she can use yours?

Mazforever72 −  Tell Emily you will not be a doormat for her family just like you wouldn’t expect her to be a doormat for yours.

RaptorOO7 −  He disrespects you in your home in front of your family and then has the audacity to ask to borrow your car. Any time I had a car breakdown I got a rental until it was fixed. Besides what would the construction guys think if they saw him driving your car.

BoSsUnicorn1969 −  NTA… and, for bonus points, if construction management is “better” than finance, couldn’t he scrape some of his hard-earned cash to find some substitute transportation or buy a new car???

UndebateableMom −  Hmmm…. “family should help each other out” and not “family should be respectful to each other”. What a bunch of crap.
You are NTA and good for you for not kowtowing to this j**k. “Oh, you mean the car that my useless career PAID FOR?”

Snackinpenguin −  So the “moving numbers around” job is what paid for your car. He doesn’t get to s**t on your livelihood and then demand use of yours. NTA.

Laquila −  Lending someone your car is far too great a risk, even if he wasn’t an ass. He’ll have to look for other options.. NTA

Is he justified in declining assistance to someone who has been disrespectful, or should he overlook the insult for the sake of familial peace? What are your opinions?