AITA? My neighbor (40sF) is mad at me(25F) for not texting her back?

A woman in her mid-twenties is finding it hard to deal with her neighbor, a woman in her forties, whose friendliness has been excessive and invasive ever since she relocated. After not responding to a late-night message from the neighbor because she was tired, the neighbor has turned unfriendly, taking the lack of response as an insult.

The younger woman harbors concerns regarding possible negative reactions within their residential complex. However, she believes she is not required to cultivate a friendship that she did not initiate. The original narrative is provided below…

‘ AITA? My neighbor (40sF) is mad at me(25F) for not texting her back? ‘

My neighbor, a woman in her mid-forties who relocated from the East Coast some time ago, is a long-time resident here in the Midwest. She used to be very amicable, extremely sociable, and somewhat of a nosy person, always in the know about everyone and everything, and acquainted with all the residents in our building.

She launched into sharing her entire life with me right away and declared that I was her new younger sister. She is constantly trying to give me food, gifts, money, etc. I always decline, mostly because I hardly know her and it feels inappropriate.

I tend to keep my distance when meeting someone for the first time, and as an introvert, she picked up on this and said that I was strange. Perhaps she got the impression that I was arrogant. I simply said that I was shy, which is accurate.

Because I lacked any furnishings, she proposed giving me a used sofa. Despite my repeated refusals, I finally accepted it to end her persistent nagging, and also because having furniture would be beneficial. I suggested compensating her, but she refused, claiming it was because she was a “good person.” This is where I made a mistake.

Perhaps she views me as someone she can mold since I’m the new person, or something along those lines, but her behavior towards me within this short period of living here is beginning to unsettle me. Anyway, a couple of nights after I received the couch, she sent me a text at 1 in the morning, which I didn’t answer because I was tired and went back to sleep.

I couldn’t reply to her since I was occupied with work I had to do the following day. Apparently, she perceived it as disrespectful and now glares at me in the corridors and shouts curses at me simply for seeing me? I’m perplexed because I never suggested that I desired a close friendship with her.

Because she provided me with the sofa, I suspect she now believes I’m obligated to accept social invitations and food offerings that I’ve consistently declined in the past.

I considered messaging her to inquire about my mistake, hoping to offer an apology and clarify that my intention was not to offend. However, I suspect she already possesses a preconceived notion of me, and my explanation would not align with her established perspective.

That’s perfectly fine, but we live near each other, and she is acquainted with everyone in the building. I’ve primarily interacted with the maintenance worker, who I suspect is aware of her loneliness and avoids her. I’m concerned that she might create issues with the administration or something similar in my secure environment.

I’m enjoying my time here, and I’m hoping to avoid problems. What steps should I take? Am I in the wrong?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

BigBlueD7664 −  NTA – It’s ok not to be her friend, and if she can’t seem to take no for an answer, then she is the AH, not you. Just because you accepted her sofa, it doesn’t make you obligated to her in any way. I have a feeling she is overbearing with everyone and takes every imagined sleight as a direct insult. It’s not you, it’s definitely her.

New-Owl-2293 −  NTA. Be careful who you get close to. Some lonely people get obsessive. You don’t want a baby Reindeer situation. Don’t apologise – be civil, curt and say no to whatever she offers you. She’s trying to buy your attention. You don’t have to be polite to strangers

kimkayme −  NTA. Your neighbour seems a bit m**ipulative if you ask me.

Organic-Mix-9422 −  So im Australian. I don’t understand why in these posts, everyone seems happy to give their phone numbers, email and or fb to everyone they barely know. Keep your privacy.. Nta for not texting

_s1m0n_s3z −  I bet this is a pattern with her. One that she’s pulled on new people over and over. She’s lonely and has no friends, so she latches aggressively on everyone who moves in, using finely calibrated toxicity to prevent them from maintaining their own boundaries.

OP, ultimately you’ll need to adopt a no-holds-barred approach and risk upsetting her; there’s no gentle method to dissuade her. Therefore, why delay the inevitable? NTA.

coastalkid92 −  NTA She’s your neighbour, not your friend and that’s okay.

Excellent-Count4009 −  NTA. Block her number?

Organic_Start_420 −  NTA return the couch and stay away from the n**case

Artistic-Deal5885 −  NTA. Your neighbor is cuckoo and aggressive. Silence your phone at night, btw. Everything can wait til morning, even bad news can wait til after I’ve had a good night’s sleep.

StellalunaStarr −  NTA throw out the sofa

Is she incorrect for establishing limits, or is her neighbor acting unfairly? What are your opinions? Leave your comments here!