AITAH for banning my SIL and her kids from my house?

A 39-year-old female Redditor is annoyed that Laura (29F), her sister-in-law, let her kids harm a Steinway grand piano, a family treasure, at a recent get-together. Even though she was told not to, Laura’s children fiddled with the piano, even climbing on it, which resulted in significant scratches.

Laura brushed off the issue when it was brought up and wouldn’t say sorry, so the Redditor barred her and her children from the house. Some family members are on the Redditor’s side, but others feel the response was too harsh. See the original post below for more information.

‘ AITAH for banning my SIL and her kids from my house?’

I (39F) own a grand piano that has been passed down through my family for many years. It started with my great-grandmother, then went to my grandmother, then my mother, and eventually me. It’s a Steinway grand piano, and while it’s worth a significant amount, its emotional value outweighs its monetary worth.

It has been well-maintained and is filled with numerous memories of family events, celebrations, and piano instruction. I have always viewed it as more than just an object; it is an integral aspect of our family’s story. During a family get-together last weekend, my sister-in-law, “Laura” (29F), attended with her two children (6M and 4F).

Her offspring are quite challenging. I explicitly stated upon their arrival that the piano was not to be touched. I even posted a “Do not touch” sign. During the event, I observed her youngest playing the keys while Laura chuckled.

I explained to her that it wasn’t meant to be played with, and she responded with, “It’s okay, he’s simply inquisitive,” even as she took him elsewhere. I assumed that would be the last of it. Sometime later, I entered the living room and was horrified. Her eldest child was *on the piano*, and Laura was snapping photos as though it was adorable!

I shouted for them to cease at once; however, the child had already descended, and the harm was irreversible. The piano’s surface and top were covered in prominent scrapes. I was incensed. I demanded Laura’s departure, to which she reacted with indignation, accusing me of overreacting and dismissing it as “just a piano.”

She wouldn’t say sorry and even told me I was “uptight” for getting so worked up over a “worthless piece of wood.” That evening, I sent her a text informing her that she and her children were no longer allowed in my home. She replied, calling me childish and alleging that I was “penalizing her children for acting like children.”

Some relatives agree with me, pointing out Laura’s lack of consideration and manners. Others believe I’m taking things too far and being overly strict, arguing it’s simply a piano and that excluding family is an extreme reaction. However, I see it as more than just a piano; it represents a piece of our family’s heritage, which she allowed her children to damage while she found it amusing. Am I wrong for prohibiting her from visiting after this incident?

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Queen_of_Pangea −  NTA and you should send her the bill for any restoration work, if that can be done to repair the damage. Edit – I know restoration work can be done, it is the degree of damage done that only OP knows for real, that made me say “if”.

ConfusedAt63 −  Send her the estimate/ bill for the repair. The entire top will have to be completely refinished, it will cost a small fortune I am sure.

That will undoubtedly grab attention if you publicize it on social platforms. Those who disagree with your assessment can contribute alongside her to cover the expense of repairing your piano, a consequence of the charming photos she cherished.

Perfect_Ring3489 −  Nta. You have rules and boundaries. She broke them and laughed. Unacceptable. The piano is a family heirloom and should be respected

FairyPenguinStKilda −  Send her this so she understands how much it is worth, and send her a restoration bill.

Queen_of_Meh1987 −  NTA. First and foremost, you can have or not have anyone in your home for any reason that you want, because it’s your home. But destructive children with an unattentive parent that doesn’t even see the problem? Definitely banned, and they’d be getting the repair bill.

henchwench89 −  NTA its not kids being kids. Its laura being a rude entitled and bad parent. Get someone to assess the damage and cost of repairs and send her the bill

Kittytigris −  Pls tell me you also bill her the amount to restore the piano. NTA.

Careless-Visual-1853 −  Pianist here. I cannot imagine how you must be feeling. I am so sorry you are going through this.
Did Laura post the pictures of her kids on the piano on social media? If so, get screenshots immediately so you have copies of them.

If there’s a Steinway dealer nearby, ask them to assess the repair costs and the piano’s present market value. Also, reach out to your home insurance provider and obtain their assessment.

There are lawyers who will file a lawsuit agreeing to receive a percentage of your compensation instead of charging an upfront payment. Seek advice from one immediately. Don’t ignore this. A family treasure has been harmed, and it should be fixed if you intend to give it to future family members.

I would sever all ties right away, in my opinion. I realize you desire your kids to interact with her kids, but perhaps you should think about the kind of impact those kids will have on your own.

It definitely won’t be good news. Once again, I’m deeply sorry you’re experiencing this. The level of negligence, lack of consideration, and blatant heartlessness is shocking. Please let us know what happens. 🫂❤️

woodwroth −  NTA. My uncle has a music room with electronic keyboards and a parlor grand. Nothing in that room is sentimental or antique. As children, no matter how much we would have loved to play music (ska bang on the keyboards), we never set foot in that room.

Although the door remained open, we never entered. Our mother instilled in us a deep respect for the belongings of others, and we were aware that attempting to do so without authorization would result in severe punishment.

andyvbuzz −  NTA, its clear she doesn’t respect you enough to do the one thing you asked of her in your own home. she intentionally crossed those lines and thought it was cute and had no consequences. she’s an AH for that.

Was the Redditor right to exclude her sister-in-law and children following the piano incident, or was that too harsh? What would you do if a family member damaged something you treasured? Please share your opinions and stories in the comments!