AITA for asking my Husband if he has money for Ice cream?

A Reddit user recounts a strained interaction with her spouse during a family meal. The conflict began when she inquired whether he could cover the cost of ice cream, having observed that he withdrew a considerably larger sum of cash compared to her. Although her goal was to maintain sound financial practices and protect their shared savings, their discussion rapidly intensified, resulting in allegations of monetary exploitation and humiliation. Explore the original narrative to delve deeper into this couple’s monetary challenges.

‘ AITA for asking my Husband if he has money for Ice cream?’

The last twelve months have been particularly rough for my spouse. He despises his work, is struggling to maintain a relationship with his son, and has accumulated considerable debt due to irresponsible spending in an attempt to improve his mood. We’ve recently moved to a system of shared and individual finances. The goal was for me to take control of our finances and get us out of debt once more.

This was functioning perfectly until recently. My spouse and I were having dinner at my mother’s house the other evening, and as we began gathering our belongings to depart, he inquired whether we could go to Dairy Queen. I questioned whether he possessed the funds for Dairy Queen. The sole reason I inquired is that we each withdraw spending money every time we are compensated. He withdrew $200 this pay period, while I withdrew $40.

He lacked the funds to purchase ice cream, and I was unwilling to use our household funds since that would reduce the money available for paying bills. My mother provided us with $10, and we left. While in the car, he declared that he no longer desired ice cream, so we ended up buying popsicles from the store later. I believed everything was fine until last night.

He claimed that I had humiliated him before my mother and that I was being financially controlling, so he would no longer allow me to manage the funds. He demanded that I provide a detailed breakdown of expenses if I needed money to cover them. I expressed remorse for embarrassing him and explained that my aim was not to mistreat him, but to encourage him to consider his spending patterns.

I pointed out he took 200$ for spending money and I had 40$. I still have 32$ and he already went through 200$. He said most of that went to paying people back for money he had borrowed so it doesn’t count. We still haven’t came to a new plan on how to handle money and I’m thinking about saying at my moms tonight so he has time to think. I hope he is just o**rwhelmed with life and not realizing he upset in general. So, am I the a**hole for asking my husband if he had money for ice cream?.

Check out how the community responded:

soog0704 −  NTA, but I’m echoing concerns about your husband’s understanding of his financial habits. He is going to drag you down like an anchor in the sea if he can’t get a grip, OP.

Flaky-Ad-3265 −  Why do women put up with having to babysit their husbands?

realkowalskianalysis −  NTA, but fundamentally if you’re husband doesn’t see a problem with his spending habits there is a bigger concern here. There’s no point trying to show him how to handle his money if he doesn’t think there’s an issue with the way he’s handling his finances. You’re a wife, not a mother – you can’t micromanage your adult partner if they are insistent on being reckless.

mtlmn951 −  NTA he’s the one who wanted the ice cream so you shouldn’t be expected to pay for it

sugaristoosweet −  NTA- You certainly could’ve handled it more gracefully by not asking in front of your mother, but you’re right to exercise financial caution. My partner was in bad financial shape before we met and is currently pulling himself out of it. And the money he spent to pay people back *absolutely* counts if he’s paying them back for things he bought for himself.

Laiko_Kairen −  The money he paid people back doesn’t count? Tell that to the bank. “Oh no, that money I spent doesn’t count!” Oh, Chase doesn’t care? Huh.

CivilAsAnOrang −  NTA. You realize that your husband is going to ruin you financially and then blame you for his actions right?

conqueeftador-booty −  Ummm why is he calling in so much? He sounds lazy. If he wants more money he needs to actually go to work and not call in.. YNTAH

SituationSad4304 −  NTA. He shouldn’t have owed that many people money 🙄

Due-Procedure5918 −  Being fiscally responsible isn’t financial abuse, it’s called being responsible and not buying stuff you can’t afford.

Was the Redditor out of line for bringing up the ice cream money issue with her spouse, or was her method justified considering their economic circumstances? How would you handle a comparable financial disagreement within a partnership? Let us know your opinion!