AITA for not cancelling a boys trip upon my wife’s request?’

A 33-year-old Reddit user arranged a golfing getaway with his buddies half a year prior, getting his spouse’s consent before reserving plane tickets and lodging. With the trip drawing near, their one-year-old baby started having trouble sleeping, prompting the wife to ask that he call off the trip because she was worried about being on her own.

The traveler, who had already put resources into the vacation, was firm about going through with it, which caused disagreements with his spouse. Although they’ve made up, they both still feel the same way about the situation. The article that follows details how the pair deals with this clash between individual desires and obligations to the family.

‘ AITA for not cancelling a boys trip upon my wife’s request?’

At 33, I, along with my 32-year-old wife, have a one-year-old son. When he was five months old, my friends and I started arranging our yearly golf outing, scheduled for half a year in the future. Once we had a potential timeframe and destination, I sought my wife’s consent to attend. With her blessing, I started making arrangements.

I located an Airbnb and reserved plane tickets. Now it’s five months later, a couple of weeks before our vacation. Our son was experiencing a sleep regression, waking up multiple times each night. My wife was still breastfeeding, and he would only accept her when he woke up crying. Consequently, she had to handle all of the nighttime care.

She came to me one day, expressing her desire for me to cancel my trip and remain home. She felt overwhelmed at the prospect of being alone. I acknowledged her worries, but reminded her that she had already given her consent for me to travel. Furthermore, I had already invested around $1,000 and the Airbnb booking for our group of 12 was under my name.

This escalated into a dispute, and she grew furious when I refused to alter my stance. I offered to reciprocate the gesture on a future vacation if she wished to arrange one, and even urged her to do so. During my time away, she contacted me via messages and phone calls, expressing considerable distress. Upon my arrival back, we engaged in yet another disagreement concerning the matter.

We’ve since reconciled but I know her stance on it has not changed, nor has mine.. AITA?

Lets dive into the reactions from Reddit:

allycat1229 −  NTA. Does she not have family nearby? Do you not have family nearby? Did you take all of the other people she knows on the trip with you? She had plenty of notice to even arrange an out of town visit for help at the point where your kid started his sleep regression.

Throwing away that much cash seems crazy to me, and the number of “You’re The Asshole” votes on this post is shocking. As a mother, I actually sent my child’s father on a trip while she was going through a sleep regression. His presence was pretty pointless since she only wanted me, and it made everything about 100 times harder emotionally and mentally.

Accomplished-Mud2840 −  NTA. And honestly I don’t understand all these people on Reddit that can’t handle taking care of a kid by themselves. I know this comment will cause me to have downvotes but it’s okay. Like okay she can put the kid in bed with her and breastfeed the baby there.

She’s able to sleep during the daytime. If the husband happened to be away for work, she would manage. Upon his return, he should take care of the baby for a few days.

oodlesofotters −  INFO: did you try to find or arrange anyone that could help her out while you were gone? NTA. Updated based on the edit. I know it can be hard to trust anyone with a baby, but I feel like having a friend, family member or well-vetted babysitter come to help out for a few hours each day he was gone so she could take a nap was the most reasonable option, as this was a long planned trip where money would be lost if they canceled.

gts_2022 −  NTA. If genders were reversed, people here would be claiming your SO is controlling and t**ic, just like it happened in a similar post a little time ago.

Just_Papaya_6669 −  NTA, situation is unfortunate but single parents manage to survive without a partner all the time, one week is not end of the world. People seem to be forgetting that here.

huggie1 −  NTA. Sleep “regression” is tough to deal with, but it’s not an emergency. As a mom of three I have spent years tied down breastfeeding and tending to one infant after another while my husband traveled for work at least half the month.

The wife in this story has taken vacation from their ONE child, but somehow when it’s the father’s turn he’s an a**hole for wanting to go? I feel sorry for him, his wife is such a snowflake that she can’t hunker down for a week or so, take naps when the child does, etc. Or call friends and family if she needs a break while her husband is away.

SirRabbott −  Are yall for real? That’s a single weekend trip. There are THOUSANDS of parents out there raising kids entirely by themselves and she can’t handle ONE WEEKEND by herself with 6 MONTHS of time to prepare.

These people following this profile are absurd. If the roles were reversed, everyone would be up in arms saying that “the father is whining about taking care of his own kids and, as a parent, he should be able to manage two simple nights alone”. You are not the one at fault, tell your wife to be more of a woman.

[Reddit User] −  Could no one come stay with her? I feel like there’s a middle ground option

Ok_Homework8692 −  NTA No one was dying or sick – I get the wife was stressed, but what do single parents do? They live through it – the trip was planned months ago and paid for. It was a one-time event, not a monthly thing.

Dense-Passion-2729 −  I can’t with all the people comparing saying “she should be able to do it easily because I have five thousand kids and do it by myself daily!” And crap like that. Let’s not compare and shame other parents, particularly moms, having a hard time. You don’t know what her experience is. That being said- NTA.

You prepared thoroughly, sought her perspective, kept the lines of communication open, and provided assistance. I’m at a loss as to what more you could have done. I trust you still managed to have a good trip, and if she’s amenable to starting the weaning process soon, support her and assist her in making her own plans.

Navigating the equilibrium between individual pursuits and familial obligations presents considerable difficulties, particularly when a young child is in the picture. What are your opinions? Please, share your insights in the comments section!