AITA for not making my fiancés breakfast correctly on the first try and then getting upset by her comments after?

A 32-year-old man volunteered to prepare breakfast for his fiancée as she worked remotely. When he neglected to add mayonnaise to her bacon and egg sandwich, her response of “It’s fucked now” offended him. He interpreted her remark as meaning he had spoiled the breakfast.

Even though he attempted to clarify that it was a simple solution, her discontent persisted, as she reiterated her desire for a fried egg. Upon his frustration, she dismissed her remarks as mere observations and pointed the finger at him as the source of the issue. The man is currently unsure if his reaction was excessive.

‘ AITA for not making my fiancés breakfast correctly on the first try and then getting upset by her comments after?’

This morning, my fiancée was telecommuting. I offered to make her a bacon and egg sandwich, and she accepted. Although she likes mayonnaise on each slice of toast when eating this sandwich, I forgot to add it while preparing her food.

The instant I placed it before her, it dawned on me, and I mentioned, “Hang on, I need to add the mayo, I’ll do it quickly.” She retorted, “Never mind, it’s ruined.” I was annoyed by her statement, feeling as though I had spoiled breakfast, so I attempted to clarify that it could be easily fixed and the sandwich was certainly not “ruined.”

She dismissed the matter, so I returned to the kitchen, finalized my sandwich, and took a seat. She followed, launching into a discussion about her expectation of a fried egg. It felt like another pointless complaint, as I had only mentioned a bacon and egg sandwich, never specifying a fried egg.

When I got upset that she seemed to still just be complaining, she basically told me that I was wrong, she wasn’t complaining and was just making comments and I was being an a**hole for being upset since she didn’t say anything wrong. AITA?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

owls_and_cardinals −  NTA. Here’s a great solution though – never make her anything ever again. Or d**p her, that’s another good option. She sounds e**itled and ungrateful AF. The fact that she tried to walk back and twist what she’d said is the icing on the cake.

That declaration of “forget it, it’s fucked” wasn’t a complaint, just an objective observation – that’s gaslighting, and a particularly awful way to treat someone.

HootleMart84 −  NTA. If she’s willing to be a j**k over a sandwich, imagine what she’s like over other major decisions. Can you just, end the engagement, but call it an eggagement. No reason. Just to infuriate her.

Anguscablejnr −  Hey, hey you know her saying it’s fucked repeatedly isn’t ok. Respect yourself. Maybe she had a bad day maybe there is context here. But if she’s just like that spitting in the face of your kind gestures. Then she’s not good enough for you.. NTA king

ScoogyShoes −  NTA. You realize this is a deeper problem, right? Like – I hope your wedding is at least a year out.

maui_scoop −  I am always hugely appreciative of a man who will cook me breakfast, even if it’s not EXACTLY what I had in mind. Your fiancee sounds like a spoiled b**t.

redditeamos −  NTA. But your fiancee 100% is. Let me count the ways:

1. Critical and a**sive (you don’t need to yell to be an abuser) when you realized your mistake.
2. Unkind and cruel when you suggested a solution that 100% would have worked. How is a sandwich fucked if you only mayo’d one side? It can EASILY be fixed. np

3. Doubles down on wanting to make you feel incompetent and is disappointed that she didn’t get something that was never promised.
4. Tries to turn you in the villain and make you feel like you’re the #sshole because you felt upset for being treated badly. NOBODY gets to tell you what you are allowed to feel or not feel. NOBODY.

5. Shows zero gratitude or appreciation that you considered her and asked if she wanted breakfast, tried to fix it when you made a “mistake”.
6. Class A g**lighting: You were kind and she smacked you over the head with it and tried to make you seem like a j**k.Is she this type of person in other situations? Does she appreciate you at all? Have you always had “need to please” fears?

That you are even questioning whether you were at fault is concerning. Value yourself more. You shouldn’t have to justify your worth to anyone. Furthermore, minor errors don’t justify harsh treatment.

vestakia82 −  NTA – I work late nights and I came home last night to a BLT sandwich ready for me on my bedside table. I was starving and had not thought about dinner, but my wonderful boyfriend had!

If you prepare a meal for your partner, they ought to be grateful, and a minor oversight like omitting mayonnaise shouldn’t be a major issue. You deserve a partner who values you!

1-Dragonfly −  Sounds like a fun life… good luck

MackinawDreams −  NTA. Why are you with someone who doesn’t even appreciate how you make her breakfast? You were doing a nice thing for her. The appropriate response from her would have been “This looks and smells amazing.

Thank you! It’s a shame that some unhappy individuals find fault-finding simpler than expressing appreciation. I suspect this isn’t an isolated incident of her behavior towards you, but rather the latest instance. Edit: paragraph added in the middle.

Repeat4Reps −  “forget it, it’s fucked now.” There is no way that this wasn’t complaining, and inconsiderate on top of it. Calling you an a**hole for being justifiably upset with her behavior is the cherry on top. So no, NTA – this was a kind offer from your side that she decided to wipe with.

Should the man be offended by his future wife’s remarks, or were her breakfast expectations justified? What’s the best way for couples to resolve minor disagreements before they become major arguments? Let us know what you think in the comments!