AITA for telling my whole family at my moms birthday that we are expecting a baby, even though my sister in law has been trying but not successful?

A Reddit user recounts how they revealed they were expecting at their mom’s birthday celebration, fully aware that their sister-in-law was having difficulty conceiving.

Even though they had shared the information with her in advance and in confidence to make it easier for her to process, their connection with her soured after that, and she currently keeps her distance from them and prevents their kids from spending time together. Review the complete account detailed below to gain insight into the evolution of this family’s interactions and the reasons behind the continued strain.

‘ AITA for telling my whole family at my moms birthday that we are expecting a baby, even though my sister in law has been trying but not successful?’

My partner and I chose to communicate our exciting announcement to all of our relatives and give my mother a birthday surprise by letting her know she would soon have another grandchild. Knowing that my sister-in-law was having trouble conceiving, we opted to inform her beforehand so the news wouldn’t be as devastating when she learned of it.

Ever since we disclosed this, she’s been treating us like outcasts. If we enter a room, she’ll steer clear and head somewhere else. She and my girlfriend were once close, but now she acts like we’re invisible.

It’s been like this for a few years, even after my kid was born. Now she has her own child, but her behavior towards us hasn’t changed, and she actively prevents our children from interacting or spending time together.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

HowlPen −  NAH. This has been going on for years? And they have a kid? This probably isn’t about your announcement at your mom’s birthday party. If it is, did she ask you not to make an announcement at the party and you went ahead and did anyhow? Not following why you think that is the root of the problem. 

rollingthrulife79 −  If it’s been going on for this long, it can’t just be the announcement. There must be a bigger issue.

Optimal-Bag-5918 −  It was very considerate of you to tell her ahead of time so she was aware and not blind-sighted by the news. Any personal grudges or hurt she is feeling is unfortunately her own, and you should not feel bad.

pottersquash −  NAH. You can’t demand she be your friend. Your presuming this is the reason, but it could be something else.

PreviousPin597 −  YTA for never bothering to find out what’s really going on and just making this assumption for years, apparently. 

andromache97 −  INFO: so this was apparently years ago? how do you even know that’s still the issue between you two? have you ever tried to talk to them about it?

lickmysackett −  YTA – Because your story doesn’t add up and it clearly isn’t the root of the issue.

Cappa_Cail −  NAH Have you simply just asked her why the change of behaviour?

Jerseygirl2468 −  If she’s avoided you for YEARS, including after they had their own child, it wasn’t about the pregnancy announcement, there’s something else. Unless you stood up and said “unlike SIL, we are giving you a grandchild!”

ElectricalCall- −  Could you ask her what the deal is?

Was it tactless of the Redditor to break their news at the party, or were they navigating a difficult circumstance as best they could? What’s the best approach to sharing positive updates while remaining sensitive to a close one’s hardships? Let’s discuss it!