AITA for naming my son the name I had always planned even after my brother and sister in-law “stole” the name?

A user on Reddit recounted how their brother and his wife “pilfered” the moniker they had consistently intended to bestow upon their son, Oisín. The user and their spouse, who hails from Ireland, had concurred long ago that their son would bear the name Oisín, a conventional Irish appellation possessing considerable importance for their kin.

Upon learning that their brother and sister-in-law had chosen the name Oisín for their son two months prior, the Redditor was understandably displeased, yet they decided to stick with it for their own child.

Their brother’s wife is demanding they alter their son’s given name or call him by his second name, but the original poster is standing firm. See the complete account of this family conflict detailed further down…

‘ AITA for naming my son the name I had always planned even after my brother and sister in-law “stole” the name?’

They have every right to choose their child’s name, just as I don’t own my own. I can’t tell my brother what to name his child. However, my husband has a traditional family name that I adore.

DazzlingConfidence912: Fundamentally, from the moment we began seeing each other and started planning our lives together, we decided that our son would be named Oisín. My husband is truly Irish, not in the sense of having a distant ancestor who immigrated long ago, but genuinely born in Galway.

My family and my sister-in-law don’t have any other ties to Ireland. She became pregnant around the same time as me, and her son arrived two months before ours. They decided to name my nephew Oisín Miguel, which didn’t bother me at all. When my son was born, we named him Oisín Daniel, just as I had mentioned we would.

She is angry because two cousins will share a first name. I think that’s crazy since we are Hispanic and a ton of our cousins are named Carlos or Camilla. She wants us to use his middle name instead, or even rename him. I told her to get lost.

My mother is keeping out of it, but she was taken aback when my brother chose an Irish name for his son knowing I had intended to use it. She thought he would name him after our deceased father.

Regardless, my husband’s relatives find the situation amusing, my relatives consider my sister-in-law strange, and she believes I am an inconsiderate person for imitating her. It doesn’t matter. I am sharing this online and providing her with the link so she can see what others think.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Special_Respond7372 −  NTA. She FAFO’d by using the name you wanted, expecting you to have to change yours. I love that you didn’t let it faze you, and named your child as intended.

She will likely remain upset, while you can simply reiterate, “You were aware of our chosen name for our baby. You opted to use the identical name, understanding the potential overlap. Your choice doesn’t create an obligation for me.”

hubertburnette −  Your husband’s family is right. So is your family. She doesn’t own the name, and, if she’s going to pretend that Moses had a third tablet saying that people own names.

She’s basically acknowledging that she messed up big time by naming her kid something she knew you were planning to use for your own. She comes across as immature and vindictive. You’re not the one in the wrong; she definitely is.

NotCreativeAtAll16 −  NTA. You’re right, anyone can use a name. That means even after she used a name that meant nothing to her, but so much to you and your hubby, it’s still OK to use that name.

Tell your sister to get lost. You didn’t get upset when she took the name you were planning to use. My family is the same way… We’ve had four John’s, two cousins named Rick who were close in age, and most of the women have a version of the name Anne.

WannabeI −  Short answer: NTA. Long answer: She thought she was going to own the name by claiming it first, even though her reasoning for the name was that *you* didn’t own it.

She has the choice of naming her son Miguel, or accepting the reality that cousins sometimes share a name. It’s not an uncommon occurrence.

extinct_diplodocus −  NTA that you didn’t play the role your SIL planned. You were supposed to be really angry and choose a different name for your child. Husband’s family is right: it’s hilarious!.

She has now burdened her child with a meaningless name, and her efforts to create a stir have gone unnoticed. Unsurprisingly, she’s upset. It’s typical for a defeated antagonist to be upset. And no, you didn’t imitate her. You simply proceeded with your long-standing, publicly declared intentions. She’s the one who chose to imitate.

Rare-Selection2348 −  Sounds like someone in the family likes to manufacture drama.. NTA

revengeofthebiscuit −  NTA – as you’ve said, no one has the rights to a name, but honestly if your SIL knew you were going to do this, it’s \*her\* fault that she chose the same name and chose to get upset about it.

Also, if she believes that her family will be the first to have cousins with identical names, then she should know that many Amandas, Jennifers, Michaels, and Patricks from the late 80s and early 90s have some information to share with her.

Swiss_Miss_77 −  Oisín Miguel. With a Latin last name. Well, it’s not a tragedeigh, cause it at least sound okay together, but that kid was always going to get so much crap if he uses his first name…

Because he possesses absolutely no Irish heritage. Your child will likely encounter similar situations, perhaps responding, “My father’s side of the family is Irish, hence the name,” and no one will question it. However, his cousin will face relentless teasing. You are not the asshole. Also, has your sister-in-law consistently displayed competitive tendencies towards you?

moew4974 −  NTA.. but since I’m petty I’d like to point out if your brother didn’t think it beyond odd that his wife wanted to name their son after a name from her SIL’s husband’s family? It feels like she’s jealous of OP? Is OP’s marriage, life, and husband just better in her mind?

Would she prefer spending time with her brother-in-law over her own spouse? Is she infatuated with her brother-in-law due to his Irish heritage? Did she act this way because she believed the original poster overshadowed her by becoming pregnant at the same time? If that’s the case, she is an incredibly insecure and rude awful person.

katbelleinthedark −  Lmao, I’m with your in-laws, this is hilarious. Of course NTA. You’ve been very clear and upfront about the name you chose for your son. And since you come from a family where plenty of cousins share the same name, you aren’t bothered by it.

I think it’s wonderful! I’m so glad you were able to give your son the name you always wanted. SIL didn’t think you would stick to your guns and would choose a different name to prevent having cousins with the same name.

That’s just unfortunate for her; it’s her problem. If she’s so upset that her son has the same name as yours, SHE has the option to use her child’s middle name. Keep doing what makes you happy, OP, and enjoy your little Oisín. Miguel will be okay. xD

Was the Redditor justified in keeping the name Oisín, or should they have found a different name to maintain harmony with their sister-in-law? What would you do if someone else decided to use a name you had already picked out for your baby? Let us know your opinions in the comments!