AITA for refusing to give my seat to a lady and her child?

A 23-year-old woman, returning home on the subway after a lengthy work function, finds herself in a situation when a woman and her 8-year-old son get on the train. The mother assumes she will offer her seat, even though her son appears perfectly capable of standing.

Provoked by the mother’s behavior, the woman remains steadfast, prompting the mother to criticize the lack of respect among younger people. She then wonders if her reaction was warranted. See the original account that follows…

‘ AITA for refusing to give my seat to a lady and her child?’

I (23F) was heading back from my job on the underground, feeling completely drained. My workplace had put on a sports day that had kept me occupied the entire day. My journey to my house is quite lengthy—roughly 50 minutes. Thankfully, I found a place to sit and was just about to fall asleep when, at the following stop, a woman and her son (who appeared to be around 8) boarded the train.

She had her son in her arms, despite the fact that he seemed old enough to walk without assistance. She headed directly in my direction and gestured for me to rise with a nod. It felt as though she simply assumed I would move, and she didn’t utter a single word.

The kid wasn’t a small child; he seemed to be about 8. I couldn’t understand why she had to carry him. Something in her expression bothered me, so I just refused. She looked shocked and began to lecture me about how someone my age should offer their seat to a mother carrying her child.

She also remarked on what she perceived as a lack of respect in younger people. It was ironic, given that she looked to be in her late thirties, and the child in question seemed perfectly capable of walking on his own.

A few people gave me dirty looks, and I felt awkward, but I stayed in my seat. However, once I got off and was walking home, I couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe I was in the wrong.. AITA?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

AncastaOfTheRiver −  NTA. The woman picked you out of all the other people who were seated. She made a decision on sight that you didn’t need that seat. If there was a reason her child needed it, she should be aware enough that other people might also have hidden disabilities that she doesn’t do that.

She might also phrase it as, “My son has a disability; would you mind offering him your seat?”

Beneficial_Park7756 −  Nta. If she politely asked id consider it, however the head motion and the entitlement, she can stand for 10000 years as far as im concerned lol

wheelartist −  Absolutely NTA. It’s clear from the added info that the lady was just trying a ploy to get a seat. Just because you’re young doesn’t mean your needs matter less than those of a fellow regular passenger, also plenty of young people have invisible disabilities or injuries. She and others had no way of knowing if you were one.

The truth is, priority seating is intended for older individuals, those with disabilities, or pregnant women/those with small children. Those who genuinely require these seats, such as myself, typically request them courteously. She singled you out in a standard seat, likely due to your youth. You were under no requirement to respond to her rudeness by indulging her sense of entitlement.

Tamihera −  When I was a kid, I had to stand for adults on public transport since I had “young legs.” And now as an adult with arthritic knees, I’m supposed to stand so kids can sit?

Forward_Giraffe9404 −  NTA…I wouldn’t give up my seat either if someone walked in with the premeditated idea of guilting someone to give up their seat…probably why she was carrying the kid….so she can use him as a prop…

Maximumoverdrive76 −  NTA. Especially since she was basically expecting and demanding you give up your seat. Had she asked nicely it’s one thing perhaps. But not saying anything waving a hand like you’re “the help servant”. No she can F off and the kid can stand just fine.

A woman with child implies a pregnant woman, not a woman holding an eight-year-old. I am happy to offer my seat to pregnant women, the elderly, or those with disabilities. Otherwise, welcome to equality; you are no more important than I am.

Dry-Crab7998 −  A confrontation like this will always leave you with a feeling of upset. That doesn’t mean that you were wrong. It just means that you dislike confrontation.
Only a person who enjoys drama and gets a kick out of causing unnecessary confrontation would walk away feeling that everything was great about it.

It takes courage to stand your ground as an adult and face someone who is acting inappropriately. You handled it admirably. Good for you!

Default_Munchkin −  NTA – First she didn’t ask which f**k off with that. Second, being a mother of any child at any age doesn’t entitle you to my seat. I’ll give my seat to the elderly but being a parent was something you did not something that happened to you.

latents −  A few people gave me dirty looks, and I felt awkward, but I stayed in my seat.  A better use of their time would have been to offer their own seats. Apparently most of them didn’t feel it was necessary to do that. Most of them only decided it was necessary to offer your seat instead. Therefore their opinions can be safely ignored as utterly worthless.

Was the woman justified in remaining seated, or was it more important for her to give up her seat to the mother and her child? What are your opinions? Leave your comments below!