AITA for not attending my sister’s wedding after she chose my ex as her best man?
Oh, the drama! Family weddings are supposed to be joyous occasions, filled with love and celebration. But sometimes, they stir up more emotions than a reality TV show reunion, especially when long-standing resentments and past heartbreaks are thrown into the mix. Today, we're diving into a tale that will have you clutching your pearls and debating family loyalty versus personal boundaries. Get ready for a story fraught with exes, best men, and a sibling bond pushed to its absolute limit.
Our poster, u/ThrowawayExBestMan, is grappling with a truly thorny situation. Imagine your own sister, the person you're supposed to share everything with, making a decision that feels like a direct, personal betrayal. When an ex-partner, especially one who caused significant pain, re-enters the family sphere in such a prominent role, sparks are bound to fly. Let's unwrap this tricky scenario and see where the court of public opinion lands.

"AITA for not attending my sister’s wedding after she chose my ex as her best man?"





This story hits hard on the complex dynamics of family, loyalty, and personal boundaries. From the poster's perspective, the decision to not attend her sister's wedding feels like a painful but necessary act of self-preservation. Having an ex, especially one who caused significant emotional trauma through infidelity, in such a prominent role at a close family event is understandably a huge ask. It directly challenges the healing process and brings up old wounds.
On the other hand, Chloe, the bride, might genuinely view Mark as a long-standing friend who has been there for her. Her argument that his past actions towards her sister are separate from their friendship holds some weight in her mind. It's *her* wedding day, and she feels entitled to choose her wedding party. She might see her sister's refusal to attend as an attempt to control her choices and steal the spotlight with personal drama.
The core conflict here lies in the clash between individual feelings and family expectations. The poster feels betrayed by her sister's lack of empathy and prioritization of an ex over her own pain. Chloe, meanwhile, likely feels her sister is being unreasonable and selfish, making her wedding about an old relationship drama. Both perspectives have valid emotional underpinnings, making this a tough situation to untangle.
The communication breakdown is also a critical factor. While Chloe may feel Mark is her friend, failing to discuss his prominent role with her sister beforehand demonstrates a significant lack of consideration for her sister's feelings. Conversely, the poster's ultimatum, while understandable from her perspective, put Chloe in a difficult position right before her wedding, escalating the conflict rather than finding a potential compromise.
The Verdict Is In: Was OP Justified in Her Stance?
The comment section on this post was, as expected, a firestorm! A huge majority of readers emphatically sided with the original poster, declaring her 'NTA' (Not The Asshole). Many users expressed outrage on her behalf, emphasizing that her sister, Chloe, showed a severe lack of empathy and loyalty by choosing a cheating ex as her best man. The consensus was that Chloe's actions were a blatant disregard for her sister's pain, making her the true 'AH' in this scenario.
However, there were also a smaller, but vocal, contingent who felt the poster was indeed 'YTA' (You're The Asshole). These commenters argued that it was Chloe's wedding day, and she had the right to choose her wedding party regardless of her sister's past. They suggested that the poster was being selfish, making the day about herself, and should have put her sister's happiness first, even if it meant temporary discomfort.



This AITA story perfectly encapsulates the messy realities of family relationships. While Chloe has the right to choose her wedding party, her sister also has the right to protect her emotional well-being. The lack of consideration for the poster's past trauma, and the subsequent pressure from family, only compounded the issue. Ultimately, while missing a sibling's wedding is heartbreaking, sometimes setting firm boundaries is necessary for healing and self-respect. We hope both sisters can eventually find a path to understanding, even if it's a long one.