AITA for not forgiving my mom after she told me my anxiety “makes her look bad”?
Oh, the complexities of family! Today, we're diving into a heart-wrenching AITA submission that touches on something many of us grapple with: parental understanding, or lack thereof, when it comes to mental health. Our original poster, 'AnxiousChild', brings us a story that will undoubtedly resonate with anyone who has felt invalidated by the very people who should be their strongest support.
It’s a tale that spotlights the deep wounds that can be inflicted by seemingly innocuous comments, especially when they come from a parent. When dealing with something as personal and debilitating as anxiety, the expectation is often for empathy and compassion, not judgment. But what happens when that expectation is shattered in the most public and hurtful way? Let's unpack this difficult situation.
"AITA for not forgiving my mom after she told me my anxiety “makes her look bad”?"
The original poster's situation highlights a common, yet deeply painful, parental dynamic. It's clear that the mother's response during a vulnerable moment was not just unsupportive, but actively detrimental. Prioritizing one's social image over a child's suffering, especially when that suffering is a recognized medical condition like anxiety, is a significant emotional misstep that can leave lasting scars.
From the mother's perspective, it's possible she was feeling embarrassed, stressed, or even overwhelmed by her daughter's panic attack. She might genuinely believe that she was 'protecting' her daughter by trying to manage the family's perception. However, her choice of words and the timing of her intervention reveal a profound lack of empathy and understanding regarding her daughter's mental health struggles.
The impact on the original poster is palpable. Being told you are an embarrassment during a panic attack is a traumatic experience that violates the trust and safety a child expects from a parent. The mother's subsequent dismissal of her daughter's feelings as 'overreacting' only compounds the injury, demonstrating an unwillingness to acknowledge the severity of her words or their effect.
The question of forgiveness is deeply personal. Forgiveness is not something that can be demanded, especially when the offending party shows little genuine remorse or understanding. The original poster is entirely within their rights to set boundaries and take the time they need to process this betrayal, regardless of familial pressure. Their emotional well-being should be the priority.
The Verdict is In: Is OP Right to Hold Her Ground?
The internet, as expected, came down strongly in support of our original poster. Many commenters shared their own experiences with dismissive or narcissistic parents, making the 'NTA' (Not The Asshole) judgment almost unanimous. The collective empathy for the OP's situation was overwhelming, with users emphasizing that a parent's primary role is to offer support, not judgment, especially during a mental health crisis.
Several users pointed out that the mother's reaction wasn't just unhelpful, but a classic example of a parent prioritizing their own ego over their child's needs. The idea that someone's anxiety 'makes them look bad' is a clear sign of self-centeredness, and many advised the OP to maintain distance until the mother genuinely understands and apologizes, not just demands forgiveness.
This AITA story serves as a stark reminder of the importance of validating mental health struggles, especially within family dynamics. The original poster's experience underscores that forgiveness is a personal journey and cannot be forced. While family ties are strong, they shouldn't come at the cost of one's mental and emotional well-being. It's okay to protect your peace, set boundaries, and wait for genuine remorse before extending an olive branch. Sometimes, the most loving thing you can do for yourself is to create distance from those who consistently invalidate your pain.
