AITA for not forgiving my dad after he told me I ‘deserved’ to be cheated on?

Oh boy, do we have a doozy for you today! Our latest submission dives deep into the complexities of family relationships, betrayal, and the painful struggle for forgiveness. It's a situation that truly tests the limits of what one can endure from a loved one, especially when that love is supposed to be unconditional. Grab your tissues, folks, because this one hits hard and questions the very definition of parental support.

Our anonymous poster, 'CheatedButNotBroken', shares a heart-wrenching tale involving her father, a past relationship, and a truly shocking declaration that has left her reeling. When a parent utters words that cut deeper than any stranger ever could, where do you draw the line? Is family always family, or are some bridges simply too toxic to rebuild? Let's dive into the details and see what you, our discerning readers, think.

"AITA for not forgiving my dad after he told me I 'deserved' to be cheated on?"

This situation presents a deeply painful dilemma. On one hand, the OP's father made an incredibly hurtful and frankly inappropriate comment to a child who was already in a vulnerable state. To tell someone they "deserved" to be cheated on not only lacks empathy but actively places blame on the victim of infidelity. This kind of rhetoric can cause lasting psychological damage and shatter the trust essential in a parent-child relationship.

However, it's also important to consider the father's perspective, as difficult as that may be. While his words were completely out of line, his mother suggests he was "frustrated" or "worried." Some parents, especially those from older generations, struggle with emotional expression and may resort to harsh language when they feel helpless or don't know how to comfort. This doesn't excuse his behavior but provides a potential, albeit insufficient, explanation for it.

The request for a "genuine, specific apology" is entirely valid. True forgiveness often hinges on genuine remorse and understanding from the offending party. A blanket "sorry if I upset you" often feels dismissive and implies the fault lies with the recipient for being 'too sensitive,' rather than with the speaker's harmful words. The OP is setting a boundary, which is a healthy response to emotional injury, regardless of the person involved.

Ultimately, forgiveness is a personal journey and never an obligation, especially when the initial hurt stems from such a profound betrayal of trust. The OP is not being an "asshole" for needing time and a proper apology to heal. Family harmony should not come at the cost of one's emotional well-being and validation. It's about protecting oneself from further harm, even from those closest to you.

The Internet Weighs In: Can a Parent's Cruelty Ever Be Forgiven?

The comment section, as expected, is a heated battleground of opinions on this one! Many are unequivocally siding with OP, declaring her father's words to be beyond the pale. There's a strong consensus that blaming a victim of infidelity is never acceptable, especially when that victim is your own daughter. Users are highlighting the lasting damage such a statement can inflict and validating OP's right to protect her emotional well-being.

A smaller, but vocal, contingent is trying to offer some grace to the father, suggesting his words might have come from a place of misguided concern or generational communication issues. They're urging OP to consider his age and potential inability to express himself properly, pushing for reconciliation. However, even these comments generally agree the father was out of line, but question if completely cutting him off is the right move long-term.

This AITA story is a stark reminder that some of the deepest wounds are inflicted by those closest to us. While the desire for family harmony is understandable, it should never come at the expense of one's self-worth and emotional safety. Forgiveness is a complex process that cannot be forced or rushed. Ultimately, only OP can decide when, or if, her father's apology will be sufficient to begin healing this profound rift. We wish her strength and clarity in navigating this incredibly difficult situation.