AITA for refusing to attend therapy with my mom after she said my trauma “never happened”?

Welcome back, dear readers, to another deep dive into the complex world of family dynamics and personal boundaries. Today's story touches on a particularly painful subject: parental invalidation and the aftermath of trauma. When the people who are supposed to protect us instead dismiss our experiences, the emotional scars can run deep, making the path to healing incredibly challenging. Our submitter is grappling with precisely this kind of hurtful betrayal, and it raises a crucial question about self-preservation.

It's a common thread in many AITA submissions: navigating the blurred lines between filial duty and personal well-being. This week, we're discussing a situation where a mother's refusal to acknowledge her child's trauma has led to a major rift, culminating in a therapy request. But can therapy truly be effective when one party denies the very premise of the pain? Let's unpack this raw and emotional post together and see if we can offer some clarity.

"AITA for refusing to attend therapy with my mom after she said my trauma “never happened”?"

This situation presents a classic dilemma when dealing with someone who practices gaslighting or outright denial. For therapy to be effective, there needs to be a fundamental agreement on the reality of the issue. When one party denies the very existence of the trauma that brought them to the session, it creates an impossible foundation for healing. The therapist’s role is to facilitate understanding, but they cannot force one person to acknowledge another's truth if they are unwilling.

Your mother’s statement, 'What trauma? That never happened,' is not just dismissive; it's a profound invalidation of your entire experience. This kind of denial can be more damaging than the initial trauma itself, as it erodes trust, self-worth, and your sense of reality. You've spent years in individual therapy healing from this, and to have it trivialized in front of a professional would feel like a complete betrayal of your progress and emotional safety.

Entering therapy with a parent who refuses to acknowledge your pain places an immense burden on you. It turns the therapy into an arena where you constantly have to defend your reality, rather than a space for mutual growth and understanding. Your decision to leave, while painful, can be seen as an act of self-preservation. You recognized that the conditions for productive therapy were not met, and staying would only perpetuate the cycle of invalidation you've endured.

While your mother might genuinely believe she's 'helping' or trying to 'move past' things in her own way, her approach is deeply flawed and harmful. True healing requires empathy and acknowledgment. You are not obligated to continue engaging in a process that actively harms your mental health. Your siblings' differing opinions reflect the complexity of family loyalty versus personal well-being, but ultimately, your well-being must come first.

The Internet Weighs In: Can You Heal When Your Truth Is Denied?

The overwhelming consensus in the comments section aligns strongly with the original poster's decision. Many users immediately flagged the mother's behavior as classic gaslighting, highlighting how detrimental it is for healing. There's a shared understanding that therapy cannot progress if a fundamental truth is denied. This validation from strangers often offers a significant sense of relief to those who have been made to doubt their own experiences within their family.

Readers emphasized that OP's self-preservation was paramount here. Staying in a session where your trauma is dismissed would only cause further emotional harm and set back any progress made in individual therapy. The advice generally points towards protecting one's mental health, even if it means stepping back from attempts at reconciliation that are not genuinely constructive. It underscores the difficulty, but necessity, of setting boundaries with unsupportive family members.

In conclusion, this AITA post powerfully illustrates the critical importance of boundaries and self-preservation, especially when dealing with family trauma and denial. You are never an asshole for protecting your mental health and refusing to participate in a process that actively undermines your healing. True reconciliation and therapy require a baseline of respect for each other's experiences. Moving forward, focusing on your individual well-being and maintaining healthy distance might be the strongest path to peace. Your truth matters, always.