AITA for refusing to help my mom financially after she disowned me for marrying another woman?
Welcome back, Reddit explorers! Today's story plunges us into the complex, often painful, world of family estrangement. Our poster asks if they're the AITA for setting a firm boundary with their mother, a boundary built on years of hurt and rejection. It's a classic tale of parental disapproval clashing with personal autonomy, leaving a trail of emotional wreckage that's hard to navigate.
This isn't just about money; it's about the deep wounds left when family turns their back on you for simply being yourself. When the very people who are supposed to love you unconditionally fail to do so, what obligations, if any, remain? Grab your tissues and prepare for some strong opinions, because this one hits right at the heart of what family truly means.
"AITA for refusing to help my mom financially after she disowned me for marrying another woman?"
This is a deeply emotional and morally fraught situation. On one hand, the poster's mother made a clear and unequivocal choice to disown her daughter over her sexual orientation and marriage. That action carried immense emotional weight and caused profound pain. It essentially severed the parent-child bond from her end, sending a message that her daughter's happiness and identity were secondary to her own rigid beliefs.
When a parent chooses to disown a child, they are essentially relinquishing their parental responsibilities and, arguably, any future claims to a child's care or support. The mother's request for financial aid now, after years of silence and rejection, feels opportunistic to many. The poster is perfectly within their rights to protect their peace and financial stability, especially after experiencing such a significant betrayal.
However, there's also the societal expectation, often unspoken, that children will care for their aging parents, regardless of past grievances. This expectation can weigh heavily on individuals, causing immense guilt. The mother's current distress might evoke a sense of empathy, even if her past actions were hurtful. It challenges the poster to choose between self-preservation and a lingering sense of familial duty.
Ultimately, the question boils down to whether the poster owes anything to someone who explicitly declared them "no longer family." Many would argue that once that bond is unilaterally broken by one party, the other is not obligated to repair it or provide succor, especially when the initial rejection was rooted in bigotry. The pain of being disowned doesn't just vanish; it shapes future interactions.
The Internet Weighs In: Family Ties, Tough Choices, and the Price of Acceptance!
Unsurprisingly, the comment section exploded with a resounding "NTA" verdict. Users were quick to point out that the mother forfeited any claim to filial support the moment she disowned her daughter. The prevailing sentiment was that you don't get to treat someone like trash and then expect them to act as your safety net. Many emphasized the hypocrisy of the mother's request after years of cruel silence.
While the NTA votes dominated, a few commenters acknowledged the emotional complexity, suggesting that while the poster is justified, it might still be a difficult decision to live with. However, the majority underscored the importance of self-protection and setting firm boundaries against toxic family members, especially when their past actions were so deeply damaging. "Play stupid games, win stupid prizes" was a common refrain.
This story is a stark reminder that family isn't always blood, and unconditional love isn't always a given. While the bonds of kinship can be powerful, they can also be severely damaged, sometimes beyond repair, by intolerance and rejection. Our poster's decision, though painful, highlights the importance of self-preservation and the profound impact of a parent's choices. Ultimately, boundaries are not about being cruel; they're about protecting your peace and honoring your own worth when others fail to do so.
