AITA for locking my children out of my room and refusing to look after them?
Welcome back to another edition of "Am I the Asshole?" where we dive deep into the internet's most burning domestic dilemmas. Today's story tackles a sensitive topic: parental burnout and the desperate measures some parents take to reclaim a shred of personal space. It's a fine line between self-care and neglect, and our OP found themselves walking that tightrope this week, sparking a fierce debate.
Many parents will empathize with the relentless demands of raising young children. The constant need for attention, supervision, and emotional labor can push even the most patient individuals to their breaking point. But when that breaking point involves physically excluding your kids from your space, it sparks a passionate discussion about boundaries, responsibility, and the true meaning of a 'break.'

"AITA for locking my children out of my room and refusing to look after them?"




This is a classic dilemma illustrating the invisible labor of parenting, particularly for the primary caregiver. On one hand, every human being, including a parent, has a fundamental right to personal space and moments of solitude to recharge. Burnout is real, and it can significantly impact a parent's mental health and, by extension, their ability to parent effectively. Feeling pushed to the absolute limit often leads to actions born of desperation.
However, the method employed here, while understandable from a desperate perspective, raises valid concerns. Locking young children (ages 4 and 6) out of a parent's room and explicitly stating a refusal to 'look after them' for a period, even a short one, could be perceived as abandonment by very young minds. Children at this age rely heavily on their parents for security and may not fully grasp the concept of 'Mommy needs a break' when the door is physically barring them.
The husband's reaction, while perhaps lacking empathy for the OP's exhaustion, highlights a critical point: safety. While the living room might be child-proofed, unexpected accidents can happen quickly. The question of 'what if something happened?' is a legitimate one for any responsible parent. Moreover, his lack of involvement in the day-to-day grind seems to be a significant contributing factor to OP's burnout, suggesting a larger systemic issue in their household.
Ultimately, this situation points to a desperate need for better communication and a more equitable division of labor within the marriage. The OP was clearly at her breaking point, but the children are innocent parties caught in the middle. While self-care is vital, the approach might need re-evaluation, perhaps by proactively scheduling breaks or having a clearer understanding of shared responsibilities with the husband before reaching such extremes.
The Internet Weighs In: Is Self-Care Always Justified?
The comments section on this one is, as expected, a hotbed of passionate opinions. Many users are rushing to defend the original poster, sharing their own stories of parental burnout and the sheer exhaustion that comes with non-stop childcare. They argue that a parent is not a robot and deserves a moment to themselves, highlighting the unfair burden often placed on primary caregivers. The sentiment is strong: 'You can't pour from an empty cup.'
Conversely, a significant number of commenters are expressing deep concern for the children. They point out the potential emotional impact of being locked out by a parent, emphasizing the fear and confusion young kids might experience. There's also a strong focus on the husband's apparent lack of involvement, suggesting that the core problem lies in an imbalanced partnership rather than the OP's individual actions.




This AITA post serves as a stark reminder of the immense pressures faced by parents, especially those who bear the brunt of childcare responsibilities. While the need for self-preservation is undeniable, the methods we employ when pushed to the brink can have lasting impacts. It's crucial for partners to foster an environment of shared responsibility and proactive support, ensuring that neither parent reaches such a critical stage of exhaustion. Open communication and pre-planned breaks are key to navigating the beautiful, yet demanding, journey of parenthood without resorting to desperate measures.