AITA for cutting off my best friend after he converted to a religion I consider a cult?

Oh, the delicate dance of friendship! We've all been there, watching a loved one make choices that baffle, or even alarm us. But what happens when those choices delve into the deeply personal realm of faith, especially when one friend perceives the other's new path as something far more insidious than just a different spiritual journey? It's a truly gut-wrenching scenario.
Today's AITA post brings us face-to-face with this exact dilemma. Our original poster, let's call them Alex, is grappling with the aftermath of their best friend, Mark, converting to a group Alex staunchly believes is a cult. The question isn't just about different beliefs; it's about perceived control, identity erosion, and the painful decision to sever a lifelong bond. Is Alex the jerk for prioritizing their well-being?

"AITA for cutting off my best friend after he converted to a religion I consider a cult?"





This situation is undoubtedly one of the most heartbreaking a person can face. On one hand, you have the fundamental right of individuals to choose their own spiritual or religious path, free from judgment. Mark made a choice that he believes is right for him, and traditionally, friendships often endure differing beliefs. However, this is not a traditional difference in opinion; it's perceived as a high-stakes, high-control environment.
The core of the conflict lies in the distinction between a religion and a cult. The poster's assertion that this group is a cult, based on observed behavioral changes and research, significantly alters the dynamic. If the group truly exhibits manipulative tactics, isolation, and personality changes, then the poster's concern isn't just about belief, but about Mark's autonomy and well-being, which is a crucial ethical consideration.
The poster's attempts to reach out, share information, and voice concerns demonstrate a commitment to the friendship before making the difficult decision to cut ties. They didn't immediately walk away; they tried to intervene, which speaks to the depth of their bond and their fear for Mark. It highlights the agonizing process of watching a loved one transform under external influence.
Ultimately, the decision to cut someone off, especially a best friend, is a painful act of self-preservation. When a relationship becomes emotionally draining, hostile to your boundaries, or involves constant attempts at manipulation or recruitment, it's reasonable to protect your own mental and emotional health. While the hope for Mark's return might linger, the poster's immediate need for distance is understandable.
The Heartbreaking Crossroads: Can Friendship Survive a Cult?
The comments section for this post was a torrent of empathetic responses, overwhelmingly siding with the original poster. Many users shared their own harrowing experiences with loved ones falling prey to high-control groups, validating the poster's description of Mark's personality changes and the group's tactics. The consensus was clear: you cannot help someone who doesn't want to be helped, especially when they are under the sway of a manipulative organization.
A smaller, but vocal, contingent argued that cutting off communication entirely might close the door for Mark to ever seek help, suggesting the poster should have maintained a line of contact, however tenuous. This perspective often came from those who believed in unending loyalty or perhaps hadn't experienced the specific emotional toll of dealing with someone actively engaged in a cult, where boundaries are repeatedly breached.



This story serves as a stark reminder of the devastating impact high-control groups can have on individuals and their relationships. There's no easy answer when a loved one falls into such a situation, and the pain of making a decision like Alex's is immense. While some might argue for eternal patience, the reality of emotional well-being often dictates a need for self-preservation. It's a tragic choice, but sometimes, protecting oneself is the only choice left when all other avenues have been exhausted.
